Christmas

I love Christmas. I love the family, the food, and the cold.

However, I do not like the greedy cousins, drunken aunts and uncles, and not being able to eat things due to braces.

Children these days are just so greedy when it comes time to open presents, my goodness. They get super excited as they open it, and whether they like it or not is apparent on their faces. Everyone is going through tough times right now and the kids need to be aware of that, or the parents need to stop digging themselves into a pit of debt just because it's Christmas. Don't get me wrong, gifts are nice, wonderful even, but the second they become expected to get bigger and more expensive each year, we have a problem. It is (or was) the season of giving, and isn't they whole point of giving is to feel warm inside? To know that you brought happiness to someone else? Because last time I checked, giving wasn't about seeing how much the person you gave to got you in return, then let down because they didn't get you what you wanted. Younger kids need to be taught and understand what Christmas really is and what it's about. It's about family and friends catching up on old times over some wonderful homemade food after attending the Christmas mass and reflecting on the birth of Jesus Christ. Its not about seeing who gets the best presents from who and who spent the most money on their outfit.

We are slowly loosing the true meaning of Christmas and any holidays for that matter and, quite frankly, it's scaring me.

well said

I want (dos)

I want to go far, far away and never come back to this place.
I want to magically have enough money to afford the city life I've always dreamed about.
I want to be able to get on a train, and arrive at San Francisco and take it all in.
I want to walk around in the evening my pea coat, scarf, and Starbucks in my hand and get lost in that city.
I want to wake up in the morning, get ready, and go out to lunch with my best friends on the pier and look off into the water.
I want to meet someone wonderful and classy.
I want him to take me on a picnic date in the park on a beautiful spring day.
I want to make a name for myself, doing what I want to do, when I want to do it.
I want to be able to have people be proud of me.
I want my parents to realize that I won't be a failure if i don't get into an ivy league.
I want to be able to change my mind and be the free spirit I never was.
I want to be able to make mistakes and not get belittled for it.
I want people to stop expecting stuff out of me, and be genuinely happy when I accomplish something.
I want to stop being compared to others, especially those who I have and never will be like.
I want to be successful, but humble.
I want to become my own person on my own terms.
I want to be in control of my own life.

i've become another victim of tumblr

that's right. i made a tumblr. and it's pretty dang awesome.

i'm going to pinky promise to try and not neglect this blog, even though that's kind already been happening.....sorry about that by the way..

anyways! you should check it out! and you happen to also have a tumblr, please follow me! i seriously only have 2 followers and it's kinda embarrassing.. so please please please follow me so it looks like im popular and i have friends! (i know that's a stretch but a girl can dream, can't she?)

check it out amigos --> http://be0k.tumblr.com/ i like to think that's what the inside of my brain looks like

disappointment

ben & jerry's has let me down

I was walking threw the store a couple days ago and i saw what i thought was the most beautiful creation by man. a combination of ben and jerry's ice cream genius and red velvet cake. i excitedly went home to try it and right when i opened it, i knew it wasn't going to be as happy as i'd thought. i don't know about you, but when i think about red velvet, i see a deep red color. instead, i got this light pink nonsense. then i went to taste it, hoping it'd make up for the lack of color. but NOPE. it was not very red velvet-y at all. i was very sad to say the least. so now it's just sitting in my freezer pretending to be ice cream. because it isn't.

Don't let those red chucks of cake fool you, there were NOT that big or that many in my pint. i guess this is what happens when i go out of my normal comfort zone..tear. 

no bueno

Why must parents inflict so much pressure on their kids these days? It's not good for the kid because they get overwhelmed with their own pressure to be perfect at everything they do, and now you want to add parental pressure to the mix?! Not to mention the social,  peer, teacher, and desire to get into a above average 4 year college pressures added on everyday. I don't know about you, but there aren't too many people I know who work well under pressure. It's honestly setting the parents up for disappointment anyways; either because the child failed to reach their parent's expectations, or because they failed to exceed them. It's like an unending cycle of trial and error that isn't benefiting anyone. 

Now that that's out of my system, time to go cry my eyes out, do homework and study my behind off for two tests I will fail tomorrow. wish me luck. (more like pray, but just go with it)

oh, and ice cream is for dinner due to my braces. how fabulous. 

true love

The Book of Sirach (Ecclesiasticus)

Basically the most amazing thing I have ever read.

I can't even form words to describe how I felt while reading it, it was that amazing.

 Catholic or not, pick up a Catholic Bible and read a few verses. 

You won't be sorry. 

One of the reasons why I love this time of the year

Happy holidays everyone :)

couldn't have said it better myself.

"My body isn't perfect.
I don't walk with confidence.
I get into fights with my parents and friends.
Some nights I'd rather be by myself than out partying.
I cry over the smallest thinsg sometimes.
There are days that I get through with forced smiles and fake laughs.
Sometimes I try to convince myself that things are okay when they're not.
I'm not ugly but I'm not beautiful.
I don't look as good in real life as I do in pictures.
There are some nights that I cry myself to sleep.
I constantly think I'm not good enough.
I'm imperfect, but I'm perfectly me." -unknown

thoughts

I've noticed through various conversations with friends that I'm really not that open of a person. I mean yeah, I complain about stupid teenager things, and say my parents are unreasonable sometimes but that's not really being open. I'm not one to tell everyone or anyone for that matter my "internal conflicts" I guess you could say. Maybe it's trust issues, or maybe its just because its something I've never really done before and that's why it doesn't happen, but regardless the reason it will probably be one of those things that just never changes and I'm okay with that. People are always telling me that it's not a good idea to keep things bottled up and such but tooooo late. There's probably all of two people (you know who you are) who know what I was really thinking and feeling throughout this last year. And if you're reading this, trying to remember if I told you anything, then I probably didn't. Don't be offended by it, it's just the plain truth.

So yeah, ha uh.. I thought I'd do a somewhat lengthy, well thought-out post so ta daaa! Modern Family and The Middle are on tonight, and I am very excited.

lesson #2

Don't tell your best friend that he is being replaced by a fish. He won't like that very much. More like at all. Hehe he knows i love him.

That is all. Continue with your lives

shanagins

even though a lot of things made me happy, this video genuinely made my day and all those to come. my ap world history teacher showed us this video in class and i was smiling ear to ear. if you love me, you will get me him for christmas. please and thank you :)

Happy Thanksgiving!

I hope you all have a great day, full of family, thanks, and food! I know I will :)

Tis the season to be thankful

In light of Thanksgiving, I shall do a post of what I'm truly thankful for in my life right now. Even though we should ALWAYS say what were thankful for, that can get kind of hard with our daily lives sometimes no matter how hard we may try.

I'm thankful for..

My family: I love my family beyond compare. We've had rough patches, but thats what makes us even stronger. Family is one of the most important things in anyone's life and I'm extremely thankful I was blessed with such great people to surround myself with.

my friends: I have no idea where I'd be without my friends. Probably a mental hospital. They've all helped me through so much, whether they know it or not. They're the most genuine people I've met in awhile and I'm so glad I did. I love them all so much, it isn't even fathomable.

My church: I'm not the most spiritual person compared to others, at least not yet. Everyone has to start somewhere, and I started my journey a couple months ago. I'm thankful for all the resources and people who have made themselves available to me if I ever get stuck. I'm thankful I'm able to fulfill His plans for me.

This blog: who knows how many words would've gone unspoken if it weren't for this thing. And I'm VERY thankful for about the 5 people who read my blog regularly. You are fantastic.

pandas: as you all know, I'm like 5 years old. And I still sleep with my panda bear. Every night. Get off. I love it, and no matter what my dad says he's part of the family.

All the people I've met: you are all fabulous. Thank you for helping to shale me into the person I am today, whether that be good or bad.

Those were all pretty vague so I think I covered the basic bases, but if I think of something I'll come back and add to it. I hope you all have safe travels if you're traveling for the holiday, and a Happy Thanksgiving. :)

Dear rain, please stay

It rained over night and now it looks and feels so pretty here! When it rains here, it's snowing up in  the mountains aka where i'll be in 3 days which makes me even more happy. The only thing better than having a really bad rain storm is having a really bad SNOW storm! It's only sprinkling right now, but hopefully it'll pick up later. :)

(the view from outside my window)

The rain makes me so happy, today shall be a good day. :) 

DONE

I'm done with tests, I'm done with learning, im done thinking!!!

I am so happy I'm done with tests!! Ahhhhhhh, it feels great. All I have left is PE and Chemistry and I really hope we don't do anything in either because nothing will be retained.

Happy Thanksgiving Break everyone!!

Brain dead

I'm running out of fuel, but I still have one more test tomorrow. And it's the most important one! I seriously feel brain dead it's not even funny. I'm hoping some orange juice will do the trick. Off to study. Adios

ps i pinky promise to do a lenghy post sometime soon. and i'll have to do it cause breaking pinky promises is illegal.

when in doubt, blame school

i'm tired.

and my brain hurts.

and i still have like 2 hours worth of work left.

meh.

my tummy does not feel swell

and words are getting blurry

i'm not cut out for this thing called school

meh.

i complain about my work alot

but deal with it

and i know alot is two words, I'm just to lazy to separate them

im done procrastinating tonight

back to work

meh

I did it

I deactivated my Facebook account. I'm quite proud of myself, actually. It's no fun anymore but somehow still a distraction nonetheless but not any more! I'll probably reactivate it during break, but we'll see. I just want to get through this week.

Speaking of this week, it feels like finals week! I have a test EVERY DAY and by the end of the week I will have taken a test in every single class. I. am. going. to. die. In about 30 minutes I shall be off to a study group for chemistry, and if anyone wants to have a study session for any other class this week let's do it! I need good grades on these next couple of tests. Or I will die. Metaphorically and physically. No bueno. I prefer being alive thank you very much!

time to go prep for chem. someone pray for me. please.

i solemnly swear that i am up to no good

It was a Harry Potter weekend on ABCFamily for the past three days. It was swell. Now I have years 1-5 on my recorder box thing. If anyone deletes them they will get pushed off a cliff. please and thank you.

i also cleaned my room! it's been about 2 weeks since i've seen my floor...uh

its late and i'm tired. night world, sweet dreams!

hey guys. its raining. and that makes me very happy. so happy i even did the dishes.

today is Veteran's Day. a special thank you to all who have and will continue making such large sacrifices to grant me my freedom. the American people will forever be in debt to your courage and bravery. I'm thankful my cousin Johnny is home safe after his year of deployment, and those who gave their lives for us are always in my prayers.

it's also 11/11/11, aka the grandaddy of all wishes. go big or go home.

now i am off to dinner to celebrate life. have a good night everyone.

what happened to fun?

I'm so not even here right now. Stressed is seriously the understatement of the century. I can't even deal right now. All that's going on in my head is a stream of cuss words that are not nice and I will leave it at that. Why did I have to grow up? Why must high school put so much pressure on people?! This kinda mood makes me wanna go and prove them wrong and show how great I can be a whip stuff out, but at the same time I loose steam all too quickly.

I'm just lost. confused. stressed.

If you need me call Mars, because that's where my brain is right now.

marathon results!

First off, let me just tell you I'm sore. I probably should've listened to my dad and trained a bit more but I won't give him the satisfaction in knowing he's right. Overall it went pretty good. I'm a little disappointed in my time but that's due to my knee/ankle pains which were due to my lack of training. My crazy mother did awesome. She ran the entire 26.2 miles without stopping, AND shaved an hour off of the time she got at her last marathon. The good thing was there was a metal, sweatshirt, and free food waiting for me at the finish line so that was fabulous!
.

Mis padres :)

(disregard the bad quality, facebook kills any and all quality)

Ahh, this metal was so worth my aches and pains!

It was definitely a good experience and I can't wait to register for another race! Hopefully a half marathon on my own!!! Thank you to everyone who put forth an effort to put the race on and all the volunteers who gave me water and the random people cheering my family and I on. You are all awesome. 

updates

hi stalkers of my blog!

Okay, so I know i've been really behind lately and I solely blame school for that. And life. I am truly, from the bottom of my heart sorry for that, but hey, i'm just a busy gal.

Because of my absence in the past week, I shall fill you in on the most important details:

1. I saw footloose and it was AMAZING OMGZ SUCH A GOOD MOVIE. Like really, it was fan freaking tastic. go see it. If you don't like it (which I highly doubt), I will pay for your ticket. That's how sure I am you'll like it.
2. Halloween was quite mellow yet completely enjoyable. I wagon-ed around small children in search of candy and came out quite successfully.
3. I had school. It sucked, and thats that.
4. This week, my procrastination was taken to a whole new level. I learned I had a chemistry quiz the morning of and learned everything about the current unit from the past two weeks in 10 minutes and came out with an 85%. I win at life.
5. I also got an 88% on my chem test from a couple weeks ago. It kinda made my week. :)

I'm pretty sure I forgot some stuff but that's the big stuff.

Tomorrow my friends is the half marathon rely that I will be running with my pops! (If you aren't sure what that entails, a half marathon is 13.1 miles, and because it's a reply my dad will be running 5.75 miles and I will be running about 7.4 miles.) I just finished my playlist and I have my outfit all ready, I'm so pumped! Down side, I have to wake up at the crack of freaking dawn. Good side, when I finish I will be awarded a metal, finishers sweatshirt, and free things. The good out weighs the bad so we're all good.

Alright, time to sleep to be able to wake up super early tomorrow. good night all!

happy moments and halloweenie

You know those moments when you're cuddled up on your couch watching one of your favorite movies, drinking some yummy hot tea, and texting your best friends and you just think to yourself, "hmm, life is good."? Yeah, I live for those moments.

Those moments are one of the few things that makes me genuinely happy. And who doesn't like being happy?


ps: be safe out there tonight, kiddo's. its the only night where it's acceptable to beg for candy from strangers, so y'all better get your year's worth. but please don't get abducted while doing so because then there will be a lot of sad people and we can't have sad people when it's almost the season where overeating isn't frowned upon.

so be safe, look both ways before crossing the street, and skip the house that always gives out mystery candy.

have a great night!

This picture made me happy

Its just so cute!

Its Friday, Friday, gotta get down on Friday

IT'S FRIDAY!

And we all know what that means... T minus 8 hours till I can go home and sleep! Oh happy day. It's really sad that that's what I look forward to on Fridays, but it is what it is. Because I'm that cool.

In other news, I went to bed at like 10:40 something last night. WITH my homework done. If that's not a miracle I don't know what it.

I love those two hours my friends and I hang out after school while waiting for mock trial. It's seriously where all the fun happens. I love it because were all like different, but when you put about 8 starving, bored, and usually hyper by then high school kids together things get pretty dang entertaining.

Alright, I'm almost to school via the giant twinkie. It is currently 50 something degrees and my hair is wet, resulting in an extremely cold Sam. I suppose I shall go cram for my AP World test. Wish me luck! (no seriously like pray)

all you need is love

Look:

Watch:

Read: 

We are all a little weird and life's a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in a mutual weirdness and call it love. -Dr. Suess

Just a 'lil bit of cuteness to complete your night. that is all. :)

team up against drugs!

It's red ribbon week, y'all. Which obviously means... more dress up days! YAY! T'was twin day today.

Honah and I were twins, because we're that awesome. Whoever took this picture cut out our vans, which completed our twin-ness! Shame on them. 

But the picture of the day award goes to......TIA!

She obviously hates Jenna. But it just made me laugh when I saw it. Hehe :)


I feel like there was something else of importance that I needed to tell the blogger world but I can't think of it at the moment. POOP. This keeps happening to me! Chels knows what I'm taking about. Ugh, no me gusta my lack of memory. Oh, and I'm hungry. As always. And, as you know, I'm a MAJOR procrastinator so I have two chapters of ap world to complete by tomorrow at 8 am and I'm blogging. I really need to get better at this whole do-everything-the-night-before deal. It's just not working out.

so much want

If anyone wants to build this for me in my back yard feel free to let me know. I'll pay you in food. 

I've come to the conclusion

that I'm obsessed with tumblr and I don't even have an account. There's just so many pretty pictures of things on there! Don't even get me started with some of the fashion blogs out there on the tumblr world.... If you saw them you'd understand why I'm obsessed. I'm hesitant to make an account though because I don't wanna neglect this wonderful masterpiece of mine I refer to as my blog and because I think I would do absolutely nothing other than reblog everything I saw. It's THAT addicting. So for now I will continue to leave the tabs of the blogs open as I can not and will not memorize their url's.

Off to work on school things and such. Adios amigos.

Ouch

Here's a tip for everyone: don't go from running one mile at most for a long time straight to six miles. It will hurt.

So because my dad and I are running a half marathon relay in a few weeks, he's been constantly been getting on me for not training. Henceforth I ran 6 miles, in one hour, without stopping last night. Good part of that: my dad has to back off for not training. Bad part of that: I now hurt. Bad. Oh, and keep in mind I haven't ran more than a mile since April.

But I talked my family into going out for frozen yogurt after :) (Chelsea, btw world, loves froyo!)

So yeah, I hurt and now I'm pretty dang hungry. I hope you all have a great day!

I couldn't think of a clever title

My day very dumbed down:
7am-2:45-School
3-5pm: Try to do chemistry while impatiently waiting for mock trial
5-7pm: Mock Trial!!! t'was such a fun day today. All y'all on defense, I love you.
7-9:45?pm: Massive Chemistry study session at my friend's house.
10-10:30pm: Finish up chem at home
10:30-11:15 or so pm: Clean my room/bathrooms so my friend can come over tomorrow
11:20-now: Eating mini wheaties (were out of frosted flakes, sad face) on my bed while blogging and listening to music.

I'm such an exciting person, my gosh. Why am I so cool? I feel like I've been doing chemistry stuff aaaallllllllll dayyyyyy.................ugh I hate that class. Honestly, when am I going to need to be able to measure the molar mass of anything as an attorney or just a person/wife/parent?! It makes no sense to my why I must take that class, but whatevs. Table 4 is where it's at. If you don't know what that means there's a reason for that.

Tomorrow, except for my chemistry test, will be a swell day and I cannot wait.

Always remember: L♥VE is louder than the pressure to be perfect


It appears I've run out of cereal so night, y'all. Even though most of you all are already asleep...

wait, what?

Have you ever had those moments when you're sitting in class and all of a sudden you're kinda just like, what's happening? And you begin to question your existence and how you're even alive, if alive at all? I had one of those today in chemistry and you all know how much I love that class....(If you're not good at picking up sarcasm via the internet then that was a sarcastic remark, fyi). So yeah, basically life sucks right now.

I honestly think I curse myself. Every time life gets normal, and I feel happy for a while, and I feel like things are finally going my way for once, everything flops. I then precede (is that spelled right?) to ask God, "WHY?!" But then I also remember that if God has brought you to it, he'll give you the resources to get you through it. If it weren't for church, my friends, and those little random quotes of inspiration I'd probably be in a psych ward of some sort.

This week=no bueno. Today=mucho no bueno. Tomorrow=?

I'm pretty sure I don't stand alone when I say I thoroughly miss the days where we had no responsibility, our life didn't revolve around college and the future, and you didn't feel like a failure with a B. The stress of school and pressures from my family are definitely getting to me. But when I got on my blog today, I saw I had a new comment. Comments, no matter who they are from or what they say, comments make my life. I absolutely LOVE getting comments. ahh! Okay so anyways, I got super giddy when I saw the new comment and it was from someone I don't know personally, but a fellow blogger. This may sound weird but I love when random people read my blog. It makes me feel popular :) (don't judge my desperateness) So yeah, she kinda basically made my day. PLUS! Modern Family and The Middle are also on tonight! So excited. My day is slowly getting better so no one ruin it. please

Alright, I am now off to try to do homework and wishing I had both the snow and this puppy:

Blah blah blah blah

blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blahblah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blahblah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blahblah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah

life is all over the place right now and I'm not too sure of anything. so "blah" is a pretty good explanation of how I've been feeling.

So, blah.

Yay for the blogger app on iPhones

I am currently on a bus headed to the Diocesan Youth Day in Visalia! If you aren't catholic and have no idea what that means I shall explain. (but if you are Catholic and i get something wrong please feel free to correct me in the comments) A Diocese is basically the head of a region. Under a Diocese are several churches so were under the Diocese of Fresno. Diocesan Youth Day is when all (almost all at least) the churches under all the Dioceses of the central valley come together to worship and such.

I'm pretty darn excited.

I'm currently trying to grow in my faith. I guess that's a good way to put it. With the things that have been happening lately I've just found salvation and comfort in spending time with Jesus and Our Heavenly Father and praying deeply. It's nothing I've really done before so I'm taking it day by day, and so far it's going pretty well.

Oh, just an FYI, because were in a charter bus, all the cars beside us look so wittle! Tis quite funny. Welp, I'll be sure to update y'all on the events of the day later!

Oh mother

So I misplaced my phone and I couldn't find it for the life of me. I knew it was somewhere in the living room (hopefully) but it just vanished. An hour later, my mom hands me my phone and guess what? It's disabled for an hour. Awesome opossum! Apparently as she was trying to either figure out my password, or purposely trying to disable it (I think both), one of my friends texted me something along the lines of how we haven't talked in a while. My mom then starts to ask me a ton of questions regarding this! She's so noisy my goodness.

This all happened while we were all (my family) watching Thor. Which, by the way, was not as good as people made it out to be. Just letting y'all know.

Also, to my new followers (I'm up to like 7 guys, this is a big deal), THANK YOU. You have all made me feel extremely popular. Many of my friends have started blogging here on blogspot, good luck to you guys! I hope you all get addicted like me. Hehe. :) Now that I think of it, blogspot/blogger should give me commission for all the people I get to make an account. Heck yes.

Alright, I hope y'all had a fabulous day today and I wish you all the best for tomorrow! Peace out homies. (I would just like to tell you guys my phone changes 'homies' to 'honked'. I found it humorous, then again I'm easily amused. Okay bye.)

Quote of the day!

"I want to try to put a raisin in grape juice to see if it'll turn back into a grape" -chandni grewal

homework < everything else

I hate homework so much. And I'm sure I speak for all of the students of the world when I say that. Especially in honors/AP classes. After awhile it just gets plain boring and tedious. I have absolutely no motivation to do mine.

I had a quote of the day, but I forgot it. sorry to disappoint.

Because I have nothing else to write please enjoy this video of an adorably funny little boy:

Made my week

Not sure if that was made in reference to the fact i'm Mexican, or because she's just good at analogies? Either way I liked it. Why? Because who gets referenced as a burrito?! No one! Bazinga. Case Closed. Bring in the dancing lobsters. 

few things

i love food

i have no life outside mock trial/school

i need friends 

i need to do a post about sebastian and what a great fish he is

uhhhhhhhhhh

dress code is stupid

learning is for the weak

we had a birthday party at lunch today!

and if you're lucky i'll post about that later

uh

psat tomorrow.

SO EXCITED.

brie gould, i miss you. 

please come back to school.

ps i have your spanish hw that i forgot to give lauren due to the party at lunch

im sorry.

im waiting for dinner

there's no good shows on tuesdays.

check out mah gurl's (she will hate that) blog. CLICK HERE!

im debating whether or not to get a tumblr. 

more towards a no at the moment. 

this post is going no where

 but it still counts

i really hope someone besides chelsea reads this

even though she's the only person who ever reads my blog.

awk....

QUOTE OF THE DAY: "an awkward and pregnant silence" -papa sims. 

oh how i love mock trial 

alright i think im done

adios amigos!

procrastination at it's finest.

I'm a pro procrastinator. Plain and simple. I had a full 3-day weekend to do my 3-4 pages legal decision for English and I just started an hour ago. Even worse? I just wasted the last 30 min on facebook and now I'm writing a post about it. Oh boy oh boy how I miss 8th grade English. Where there was no homework, tests were a cake, and there was an abundance of extra credit.

I have one page done, but then again my teacher basically gave us the page and I just re-typed it. hehe.

On the bright side, I got a new pair of heels for five dolla! Holla! My self-proclaimed title "Queen of Sales" continues to prove itself correct.

Alright, I'm aiming to have this paper done by 11, (I'm hopeful, I know) and to be in bed by twelve. Can I do it? Oh how I hope so. Someone pray for me. Please.

Homecoming Week Day 5

Are You Ready For....... BEAR NATION?!

(When everyone shows off their school spirit!)

I love people who care enough about their school to show school spirit, even if its just wearing a tshirt with the school name or something of the such. I, however, love my school hence I wore old cheer sweats, spirit shirt, as well as huge blue and red bracelets! 

Oh, and I love football games! They are so fun. Especially after halftime when all the seniors leave and the front row is open. We dominated that student section better than any seniors ever will! Oh how I love my friends and our crazy school spirit. T'was a great night last night was. 

Homecoming Week Day 4

Are

     You

            Ready

                      For.......

                                   FAME?!

(Where everyone dresses as their favorite celeb/celeb look alike)

A few years ago, I had short hair with bangs and people were always telling me how much I looked like Dora the Explorer. Because I have short hair again and Dora is just plain amazing, I thought I'd dress like her. T'was much fun. There were two other girls who were dressed like Dora but one of them was white, not Mexican, (I don't know what she was thinking either), and the other was rather tall, obviously not like Dora. So I deemed myself the official Dora. Like a boss. 

Keep in mind it was only high 60's that day and I envied every single person wearing pants. Just throwin' that out there. Besides that I thoroughly enjoyed being Dora!

Homecoming Week Day 3

Are 

You

Ready

For.......

VACATION?!

While everyone else dressed as cute little tourist and such, I thought they all needed direction so I was a Mexican tour guide. Oh yes. Complete with my mustache and all! Groupo De Sam baby!

And it rained, so awesome. The only bad thing about the rain is whenever it does is all I wanna do is get sweats on, drink hot coco, put on The Notebook, and cuddle with someone. Two main problemos: 1. No one to cuddle with :( 2. dang school takes up all my free time! I need a cuddle buddy. Any takers? ;) jk, that's desperate. Anyways, but now I must go convince myself that if I do my homework now I will be able to enjoy Modern Family and The Middle more. T-minus 1 hour and 10 minutes! I CAN DO IT. .....hopefully

Homecoming Week Day 2

Are you ready to.........REWIND!?

(We dressed up in a representation of a decade)

I wore a tye die shirt! Reppin' them 70's? Or 60's? You get the idea. And don't judge my horrible tye dye skills, t'was the summer before 5th grade in Virginia and I was bored. Deal. I love seeing how creative people get. People ranged from Paleolithic times (animal hide/print things of the sort), to about 80's+. 

I love my friends.

I'm really pumped for tomorrow and Thursday. Pictures will be up tomorrow :)

Homecoming Week Day 1

The overall homecoming theme is "Are you ready for/to......" and today's was THE GAME!
                                                  (So basically wear any type of sports attire)


Me being the most sport-y person on the planet, I wore my Minnesota Twins baseball tank I got while in Minnesota. (funny how that works)

YAY FOR HOMECOMING WEEK!

~tomorrow is Are You Ready To Rewind! (we shall be dressing as a decade? I dunno, but yay for relaxed dresscode!)

Please don't grow up

Last night my family and I headed to my aunt's house for a movie night. As we pulled up along the street, we saw two girls. Both of which were wearing skinny jeans, tank tops, and with straightened hair. All of us in the car said, "who are those girls?!" As we got closer, we saw it was my cousin Joleen and one of her friends.

Joleen is a pre-teen who just started middle school this year. Puberty has been very nice to her and she's growing into a beautiful gal. But my gosh, she's growing fast! She towers over me by about 3 inches and still going!

It's so crazy to me seeing her getting all dolled up for school and just about everything else. Then I have one of those proud cousin (I know it's supposed to be proud mama but deal) moments and I think "ahh, those were the days" I wish I could protect her from all the troubles of middle school and high school but I know she needs to experience it for herself. I love her so and I feel very old now ha

Lesson #1

Don't forget to write down the notecard terms for AP World because everyone else has a life on Saturday's and will not be home to send them to you. I'm currently learning that the hard way.

If anyone has them PLEASE SEND THEM TO ME! Just think of me virtually on my knees begging you. Please and thank you.

a wee bit behind

I'm really behind on updating the world wide web on what's going on in my life. So, here's the latest and greatest:

First off, San Francisco last weekend was fantastic. It was so nice just to be in that city, walking around, taking in the beautiful San Franciscian air. The weather was a perfect mid-60's with a little rain to make it interesting. Ugh, how I miss it so. It's been established that after college I will be living in the city in my own studio, living off of goldfish and top ramen because all of my money will be going towards the very expensive rent. Donations are welcome

Homecoming has kicked into high gear! The skit practices have started, the sign is underway, and we have less than a week to get it done and perfected. Yay for stress!

Probably close to a month ago, my Spanish teacher started telling us about the opportunity to go to SPAIN over summer. I was so excited and I wanted to go so bad word bad! I talked to my parents about it everyday  and after the parent meeting last Monday I literally got on my knees and begged them to let me go. They said it was either going to be all four of us, or my sister and I. Kids, if you really want something, DON'T EVER GIVE UP. Last night they told me we were all going and I COULDN'T CONTAIN MYSELF!!!! Ohmygosh, it still feels surreal. We are all officially regestiered to go to Spain in July! Ahhh, let the countdown begin!

Last, but most certainly not least, Chelsea Cook is downright the most amazing person on the face of this earth. She is both a realist, and an optimist and never fails to make my day. She is probably the only person who encourages you to talk solely about yourself and your problems and listens with nonjudgmental ears. Chels, thank you for always being there for me through everything and truly caring! I LOVE YOU!

Sorry for the delay, but better late then never, right?

I'm sorry

I'm sorry I'm not perfect.
I'm sorry I'm not the kindest person.
I'm sorry I can be selfish.
I'm sorry I'm not normal.
I'm sorry I'm not scared to stick up for what I believe in
I'm sorry I'm not afraid of people judging me.
I'm sorry I don't always act my age.
I'm sorry I just want to have fun sometimes.
I'm sorry I'm annoying.
I'm sorry I want/need to get stuff done.
I'm sorry I'm not a prep.
I'm sorry I don't fit into your stereotype.
I'm sorry I care about my grades in school.
I'm sorry I'm not quiet.
I'm sorry I'm loud.
I'm sorry I'm stubborn.
I'm sorry I'm not afraid of cookies.
I'm sorry I'm not a genius child.
I'm sorry I have emotions.
I'm sorry I just need to cry every once in a while.
I'm sorry I'm not good at controlling how I feel.
I'm sorry I'm not always proper.
I'm sorry I don't "dress to impress"
I'm sorry I'm not the cleanest eater.
I'm sorry I struggle in school.
I'm sorry I'm not the perfect daughter.
I'm sorry I'm not a size 0
I'm sorry I don't hide myself with make-up.
I'm sorry I have needs.
I'm sorry I'm a girl.
I'm sorry I'm not exactly what you had in mind.
I'm sorry I'm me.

I have fantastic news!

Are you ready? Ya sure? It's pretty big...

Okay Ill tell you! IM GOING TO SAN FRANCISCO THIS WEEKEND!

I am so excited you don't even know. I basically screamed when my mom told me! AHHHHH! Oh that just made my day. I can't wait to be in cool weather in my favorite city. Ohmagaaa I am seriously exploding with excitement.

Excuse me while I do my happy dance.

asdfghjkl;

My life is being taken over by school, family, mock trial, student council, and my weak immune system. I have so much to do and so little time to do it! Story of a high school-er's life. Getting sick was just an extra bonus! On the bright side, because I was sick I slept from 9pm to 6:30am Thursday night. I haven't slept for long uninterrupted in years. I was wonderful :)


Other than that I'm kinda just all over the place. When I'm at school with friends, I feel great, happy even. But when I get home, everything changes. I feel alone and as though I'm facing the world on my own. I'm getting disconnected with my family because of all my responsibilities and commitments. The other night my dad said to me, "Just be a kid" and I remember thinking how those days are long gone. As much as I wish that wasn't the case, it's better to face reality then deny it. I'm just trying to take life as it comes and hopefully I won't get screwed over. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, right?

In other news, tonight is my granny's surprise party! SO EXCITED. She seriously has no idea, it'll be fabulous!

I hope you all have beautiful days!

Grandma's are just beautiful people

My family and I are planning a surprise birthday party for my granny. Her birthday is September 14, thus the party is September is the 17th. Everyone has their own part or "job" to contribute to her/the party. Mine was taking everything us grand kids love most about her and putting it together into poem. As I was writing, I couldn't stop crying. (Note that it took me 2-3 hours to write it...) My granny means everything and I mean everything to me. She has always been my rock, my motivation, and my inspiration. Everything I do is for her, to make her proud, to show her how far I've come as a person. I love her more than anyone or anything in the world. She is the absolute strongest woman I have ever met and she never fails to surprise me everyday of my life. She is truly beautiful on the inside and out and I'm proud to be her grandchild.

Here's the poem, it means a lot to me to have written this for her and I can't wait to read it to her on Saturday.

From Our Hearts, To Yours 

Granny, 

You've taught us all so much through the years, 

And I hope this will express how we truly feel.

Your strength and determination,

To allow nothing to tear our family apart, 

Has shown us how blood is thicker than water.

Your willingness to teach, 

And patience that shows,

Gives us hope and joy,

When we learn how things go.

The way you cook,

With a sprinkle of salt,

And a dash of love,

Fills our tummies as well as our hearts. 

Your one-of-a-kind humor,

Shows us your inner child,

Which gives us trust,

To place in you.

They way you're there for us all,

To lend a hand or be our rock,

Has given us the strength,

To carry on.

Your open ears,

Warm heart,

And nonjudgmental soul 

Have and will forever be there to guide us in the good times and the bad.

The way you love us unconditionally,

Whether we've earned an award,

Or accidentally broken a glass,

Has made us forever in debt to you. 

Remember:

You know my name, not my story
You've heard what I've done,
Not what I've been through. 

Oh, SF, how I need you....

I need to get away more than ever right now. I don't know how to explain how I feel right now, but crappy seems to sum it up alright. Quite honestly if I had the money, I'd already be on a train to SF. I just want to leave with Sebastian and never come back. I feel like I need to make an account with emergency money for when I really do run away, cause at some point I will, and that will cost money.

I've just had a really bad day.... and yes, it is my birthday. Sucks, right?!

My motto is now complete

So for about a week now, I've been telling my best friend my life motto is "Forever alone....... With my fish! ><>", but I didn't have a fish..... And now I do!!! Motto/life=COMPLETE.

His name is Sebastian and he is wonderful! I'm going to treat him like my son. Go ahead, judge me. I know you already did when you read my motto.... It's okay, nothing new.

Big thank you to Emily Li for getting me this wonderful fishie!

Remember what I said yesterday?

About chemistry? Yeah, forget about it. Throw it away. Make it disappear. Hasta la bye bye.

So I'm starting my chem homework, excited that I "understand" it n all, and as I'm reading #1, I realize I know nothing. Absolutely nothing. I don't know how to set up the problem, nor what they want from me.... Either I literally know nothing or it's a new concept, but I'm pretty sure it's a combination of the two. So now I'm sitting here texting my friends to see if they know what to do, and guess what! THEY DON'T. Fabulous. If you tutor or know anyone who does, please let me know! Or if you wanna get a study group together that'd be awesome! Now if you don't mind I'm gonna go cry and try not to soak my homework....

Never gets old

These are my favorite songs of all time. They never fail to hit the spot when I just wanna relax and listen to good music. I'd rather listen to slow songs with meaning then a song that says the same thing 5,000 times, if you can even understand what's being said at all. The lyrics in these songs really just spoke to me and I feel like I can relate to them in one way or another. Enjoy!

 Yes, some of these songs are a million years old, but I don't care! They're fantastic!

P.S. Happy September!

I UNDERSTAND CHEMISTRY!!! ......kinda

It was amazing. Everything just kind of made sense after awhile! Every time my friend Ashley and I got something right on the worksheets, we loudly congratulated ourselves/each other with high-five's while yelling, "YESS!"At the same time, our teacher was laughing at us, but that's besides the point here.The point is I may actually have a shot at passing this class which is fantastic!

I feel happy

I'm beginning to come to terms with the fact that I’m somewhat content with where I am in life right now. I feel happy on a regular basis, and I find myself rarely dwelling on the ‘what if’s’ and ‘what could have been’s’ anymore. I still have those moments every once in a while, but that’s normal, right? The people I’ve surrounded myself with are amazing and I love every single one of them. I love knowing that they will be willing to catch me if I fall. (I really hope that’s not any time soon, though). I'm starting to feel like I finally know what I want to get out of high school and what's truly important to me.

I’m a different person than I was a year ago. I have a different outlook on life, relationships, and people over all. I know I’m stronger than I give myself credit for, and I feel as though I’ve grown into a better person. I’ve made friends, I’ve made enemies, I’ve done things I’m not entirely proud of and I’ve experienced things that have forever shaped my life. All I want now is to better my relationship with God, and allow Him to guide me through things I’ve always felt I had to face alone.  

 I like to think I know everything about everything, like who to trust, how to help friend’s with their relationships, and chemistry, but I clearly don’t. Every day is a learning experience and I’m trying to take it one day at a time. Even though that doesn’t always happen, I really am trying.

I know I'm still young, and I have a life's worth of experiences ahead of me, but I feel as though I have just enough under my belt to make the decisions I'm trying to make. These past few years have been up and down and what I want more than ever is some consistency. I want my life to stay the way it is, just for a few months. That's all I ask. 

Amen

Save me, San Francisco

I need to get out of this boiling pot they call the Valley. This heat just isn't workin' for me anymore. I need to take two weeks off of school and life and just go to San Francisco to relax. Oh, how I miss that city so. There's just so many good things in that city if you just look past the hobos!

For example, good things:
-China town
-Pier 39
-CREPES OMGZ
-The 60 degree weather!
-Union Square's shopping
-Little Italy
-Giant's, 'nuff said.
-Fisherman's Wharf
-The Golden Gate and Bay bridges
-The night skyline
-Cable cars

I want to go to SF so badly it isn't even funny anymore. It's only 200 miles away but it's a complete escape to me. I love busy city atmosphere and how everyone always walks with a purpose (aside from the hobos of course), in a way it calms me. I love the feeling of being on the go and having to be somewhere at a certain time.

I am most definitely leaving this place and going up north to SF if I can. I am absolutely, 100% in love with big cities and cold/cool weather on a regular basis. What place has both? SAN FRANCISCO! I'm going crazy just thinking of the idea of leaving and road-trippin' up there. If I ever run away, go to San Francisco. That's where I'll be.

It's one of my favorite cities of all time and I'd do anything to go, even for a day.

How I feel right now:

That is all. 

I sound funny

I have had a sore throat for the past two days, and when I woke up, I barely had a voice. My voice is all raspy sounding and I probably sound like a man on the phone. I tired talking all day to make my voice sound somewhat normal, and it's only improved a bit. I hate being sick and I hate sounding funny. 

No me gusta.

I need a friend

I want a fish. I want a fish REALLY bad. I don't even care that they don't do anything, that's how bad I want one. I need someone to talk to who won't talk back. Somewhat like Mr. Singer from The Heart is a Lonely Hunter! But I don't want it to be a person, I want it to be a fishie! I don't want just the traditional goldfish you win at the fair, I want those really cool looking ones that no one's ever seen before so when I show people my fish they'll say, "Omg! I've never seen those kinda fish before! Where'd you get them?!" It's a total conversation starter then I'll be able to make more friends!

This is the type of fish I want:

Awesome right?! With a fantabulous fish like this I can't have just the average fish bowl. I would need something that's just as stellar, if not more, than this fish. 

Which basically means this: 

DOESN'T THAT JUST SCREAM AWESOME?!

So all I need now is for someone to buy me some magnificent fish and for someone else to buy me a mind-blowing fish tank. Please and thank you! 

My birthday's coming up ya know.... 

School, Smchool

Today was the first day of my sophomore year and I already have homework. However, I'm currently practicing my procrastination skills.

My day in a snapshot:
-Actually woke up at 6am
-Got eaten in the halls because people can't see me due to my lack of height
-Tons of people, including two of my friends, got dress-coded for their shorts. (Hehe, I didn't.)
-Embraced the most amazing air-borne hug of all time from mah girl Chelsea Cook!
-My AP World class is by far my favorite. My teacher is naturally sarcastic and it is absolutely amazing.
-I was given free hot cheetos. (Always, always a good thing)
-The majority of my teachers do not care if we eat in class. Absolute win.
-I became satisfied with my classes and the people in them while eating a hot pocket.
-Katy Perry's Last Friday Night was stuck in my head ALL DAY. I started singing, "skinny dipping in the dark" out loud in chemistry... Awkward? Never.

I don't know whether or not to be fully excited about this school year. I'm definitely happy to be back and have the ability to see my friends everyday, but the con to this pro is the amount of stress and work that comes along with it. Don't get me wrong, I love taking honors and AP classes because the people in the classes are all there for the same reason and they're great people all around but sometimes you just want to punch the wall because of all the work you have to do for one class alone, not to mention the other 5 and the extra circular stuff.

On a happier note, I AM SO EXCITED FOR MOCK TRIAL!

Hopefully this year will be just swell, and be 410384913 times better than freshman year.


p.s. If I Die Young by The Band Perry is an amazing song. It's kinda old, get over it. I love it and I'm not suicidal I promise.

I'm getting a tad impatient...

Dear State Test scores,
WHY HAVE YOU NOT COME IN YET?! It's mid-August and I took your tests in April. Or May. Something like that... Anyways! There is no reason why you haven't been delivered to my house yet saying, "To the Parent or Legal Guardian of Samantha Martinez." It's a bubble sheet, and I'm pretty sure it doesn't take 4 months to scan. Bottom line, please hurry up.
Love Always,
Sam

I want

I want to go somewhere far away. I want to go somewhere where I have a purpose. I want to go someplace without my parents, family, and without my friends. Somewhere I can just venture off on my own for a few weeks and take control of my life. I wish someone would drop me in the middle of a beautiful city, like San Francisco or downtown Minneapolis, and say “have at it.” But most importantly, I want to be trusted enough to do so.

I want to meet new people who will inspire me. I want to meet creative and artistic people, the kind who aren’t easy to come across in the Central Valley. I want to meet the people who are overlooked by society, the ones who are beautiful in their own ways, and I want to remind them of how amazing they are. I want everyone to know that someone will always think they’re breath-taking, even when they don’t think so themselves. Why? Because I believe it’s their right to know they’re loved in one way or another.  

I want to learn. I want learn about everything: books, history, art, and everything in between. I want to be a walking encyclopedia. I want to be the person in class everyone hates because they know everything and any given subject. But most importantly, I want to learn about myself. I want to see how far this world can push me until I crack. I want to know how strong I really am, mentally, emotionally, and physically.

I want to be the one who knows every little detail about you. The person who knows all your hopes and dreams, the one who knows your biggest achievements and your greatest failures. I want to be the one you can lean on, the person who will be there to catch you when you fall. I want to be the one who’s always going to be by your side. I want to be the person you can trust to tell everything to. I want you to vent to me about anything and everything, because I want you to know all your secrets are safe with me.

I want to experience a city like I’ve never done before. I want someone who will make me want to be a better person. I want to be filled with knowledge. I want to be tested. I want to be trusted. And I want to be loved. 

Please forgive my absence

     It's been awhile since I've posted something completely irrelevant to a normal person's daily life, and I do apologize for that. I am going to TRY to get back into the groove of posting every couple days or so, however, I make no promises.
     I find it ironic and kind of funny how I speak (more like type, but you get the idea) as though people actually read my blog. I probably have all of two people who read this, if that. To be honest, I kind of like it that way. The less people the better! Why? I'm the kind of person who keeps a lot of the more serious, heart-felt thoughts and feelings to myself and since I'm not real big on sharing those thoughts with other people, I created this blog sort of like an outlet to share and express myself. I'd rather share the random and unimportant assessments of my mind with the complete strangers of the World Wide Web than with people who are familiar with me and would have a to chance to ask things like, "What did you mean?", and "What's wrong, are you okay?" Sometimes, things just aren't worth explaining.
     Considering it's just about 1am, I'm going to call it a night and a successful attempt at blogging. It is very much so past my bed time and I am just plain pooped from the events of the day (Even though I really didn't do much, shh!).
     As they say on Wipeout, "Goodnight, and big balls"

Anyone care to get me a box of tissues?

Have you heard of the new show on TLC called Surprise Homecoming? It's about when our troops finally come home and surprise their families. The reactions of the families are absolutely priceless. Every time I see the commercial I cry, not kidding. I think it's such a beautiful thing seeing the genuine warmth, love, and open arms towards the men and women who work hard everyday to protect the complete strangers who live in their country. 

It doesn't premiere until July 11th, but I'll be recording every single episode. I can't wait!!!

My Main Man

Even though there's only one more hour left in Father's Day, this is my shout-out to my pops!

My dad is probably the most consist, stubborn, goal-oriented person I have ever met. He knows how to balance everything and everyone just right. If you need help in any way, he'll be right there to led a hand; even if it just means fixing a leak in your sink. His values and expectations become stronger and higher as we grow as a family, only because he knows every one is capable of it. My dad has inspired me countless times to do what is best for   family and myself. He is named after two saints (Michael Christopher) and falls nothing short of either. It's nothing shot of a lie when I say my family (all my extended family as well) depend on him and he holds all our trust.

Even though he has always been the only main man in the family, (growing up with my granny and two aunts, then getting married and having two girls must've been fun) it has made him that much more stronger.

My dad is my rock, my inspiration, my EVERYTHING. He will forever be my main man, nothing and no one can change that. I love him with all my heart and I am forever in debt for everything he has done and will do for me.

I love you Daddy!

basically made my life

Yes, I already know that i'm extremely immature and easily amused. 

The Little Things

It's stupid little things like this that make my day. :)

Quotes

It's just that kinda day. You're stressed, HAPPY, tired, confused, anxious, lost, or all of the above. You listen to your favorite songs hoping it'll do the trick. But sometimes, songs can't completely heal or mend us. Even though when we listen to those songs, you never know for sure if someone was actually feeling what you are, or even going through the same situation at the time. 


And that's where quotes come in.


Whether it was your best friend, Taylor Swift, or a member of Congress who said it, quotes have an effect like no other. They make you feel like you aren't the only person who has ever felt the way you are. They give you comfort and hope for the future. They motivate people to do wonderful things or inspire some to live out their hopes and dreams. Quotes are an outlet that lead to countless things. Because of what someone had said once, can change lives for many years to come.

So no matter what you're feeling, I guarantee that there is a quote out there that perfectly fits your situation.

My personal favorites:
"Happiness is not the absence of problems but the ability to deal with them"


“The cure for anything is salt water- sweat, tears, or the sea"

"Be on guard. Stand firm in the faith. Be courageous. Be strong. And do everything with love." 1 Corinthians 16:13-14